Rice cakes. They don’t look good, they don’t sound appetizing when someone cracks their teeth in one and they don’t smell good either. I watched a girl bite into a chocolate bar and then throw it away today before pulling some carrots out of her bag. Then another girl opened up a sandwich baggy only to pull out a huge, unflavored rice cake.
It’s 12:30 pm when I take my class and I know everyone has got to be hungry at that time. The students all have their bottles of water… I think so they can leave during class to go refill it, but they also usually break out a snack during class. There are always people munching. I shouldn’t knock the carrots, I enjoy them, I would and have snacked on carrots at my desk. But I cannot get behind the rice cakes.
It is 80 degrees outside today so the majority of girls in class were wearing sandals, tanks and short shorts if not wearing a sun dress. Not me. I’m in a baggy shirt and dark jeans. I know it’s hot out but I don’t like my body and I’m not going to pretend that I do. But also it’s usually pretty frigid in my office and so I try to find a happy medium between work clothes and clothes to wear as a “student” while I’m walking to class.
Anyway back to the skinny girls. There are about 70 people in my class, I am older by them by at least a decade. That’s fine, I’m still very hip ;) But I’m telling you seeing these girls all skinny looking has be wanting to do reps of squeezing my thighs together while I’m sitting there listening to the lecture. Granted I know none of them have kids and certainly they didn’t have a baby five months old, but still, under my clothes I’m all flab. And I’m not really doing much in the way of trying to lose weight either. I have three kids, I work full-time, I’m taking a class… when in the world am I supposed to exercise.
You know what makes all of this better? Pinterest. Boy oy boy it’s the battle between good and evil on there. One board lists health smoothies and shakes to try out and the other lists cupcakes. In between those two boards are the fitness boards with women who do 100 jumping jacks and 50 push ups before they get in the shower and that’s after they ran a half marathon, but before they are getting ready to make a six-course meal for their perfect family.
I do want to be fit. I do want to be tone. I also want to eat snickers bars and drink wine. I’m more likely to that before getting in the shower than jumping jacks. What a sight that would be, me and my flab jumping around like that, not pretty! Anyway, I want all of these things and yet I do not want to be as terrified of my body as those girls in class probably are when no one is looking. I do not want to eat rice cakes and I will never throw away a chocolate bar after one bite. Foolish mortals!
There’s a happy medium somewhere in all this rambling and I’m going to find it. I think I’ll start by not getting ice cream this afternoon at the UDairy Creamery which is five steps away from my office building. Secondly, I’ll be sure to take a walk this evening with the kids. I should burn off something since there is a Peanut Butter Twix waiting in my freezer for me ;)
As for being skinny. It’s not going to happen and my husband assures me he enjoys my curves. What I can however work on is the jiggles, I can tighten them up some and I will. It took me nine months to gain the baby weight I shouldn’t get upset about this extra flab after only five months post-pregnancy, right?