Get ready for it, roll your eyes and change windows if you don’t feel like reading, but I’m giving you a personal Friday post this morning.
Because the tears are rolling down my face and I would be pretty okay if I was taken away from myself for a bit if possible.
See the thing with feeling that way is that being taken away from myself also means being taken away from all the best parts of my life and that would be dreadful. There are so many wonderful, beautiful pieces of life and even now in a low spot I still can smile through it. And yes, thinking of Finnegan refusing his sneakers because he loves his rain boots makes me laugh out loud while I write the post. Sitting in the driveway this morning with Braeden while he expressed concern because he forgot Shamrock bear and he knew he had an uncomfortable dentist appointment scheduled for this afternoon. It was an immediate response for me to say I would gladly paint a bear nose on my face and make bear ears and wear them with him to the dentist office this afternoon so that he would have a Shamrock bear with him. Braeden is 7 years old and the thought of his Mom trying to be a bear for him at the dentist made him roll his eyes, but it cheered him up and he said he’d take a hug instead.
I guess I’m trying to explain to you readers and to myself that I am not wallowing or dwelling; at least not completely. I’m very much anti-those things.
But spending the afternoon at the childrens’ hospital with Finnegan (our 20 month old) yesterday just sort of sent me over the edge that I was already teetering on with extremely flexible shoes.
I’m just trying to breathe.
I’m trying really hard not to shake.
How am I supposed to sit here and work?
Where is my cloned Mom self who can be at home with Finn, also take Brae to the dentist, and be at work and get a shower so I can cry while the water runs and no one will see or hear me?
And the issue for March came in the mail yesterday. It had such YUM-O sounding recipes and so I decided I am going to make dinner tonight for my parents. Braeden has decided he is going to help me. =o)
We needed ingredients. Fresh mozarello. EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil). Capacolla. Pasta. Vodka Sauce. Bread crumbs. Deeee-lish. While walking around I came across a new kind of broccoli bites, which didn’t at all fit with the menu but I bought them anyway.
**cut to making my own commercial**
A woman with brown hair in a ponytail and cute chunky glasses on came up to me and asked me why I picked those broccoli bites. I told her that my son and I are cooking together tonight and I thought they would be fun. In addition, I love broccoli bites. She asked if she could put a recorder on and ask me some questions. I said okay…
Apparently I impressed her, because the next thing I knew another woman was there and Braeden and I were going to get paid $150 to film ourselves making the bites and then eating them. They gave me $25 today and after I send back the digital video camera they will send the other $125. The only other thing I need to do is fill out the question sheet that came with the camera which basically asks what my eating habits are and if I enjoy cooking, yada yada.
Never a normal day in the life of Christy. But who knows, maybe this could be Brae’s big break. I don’t think he cared too much though, because they gave him a sheet of stickers and then he was all smiles. Haha.
“But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after — just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, people may even take your breath away.”
*taking a deep breath*
Is it silly that when I pray for courage…I’m really only hoping for the courage to keep standing?
I’ll be the first to admit that though I am an avid reader, I have never read this book. Which I probably should have read to Brae before taking him to see the movie. Perhaps then I could have prepared myself better for the sob fest that occurred midway through the movie and ceased when the movie was over.
The story is about two children who feel like outsiders. They wind up being the best of friends and they build each others confidence whilst also creating a magical imaginary land…Terabithia. Jess and Leslie are King and Queen of Terabithia and they rule the Kingdom. There are fantastical creatures and a dark lord that also inhabit this kingdom and the adventures they have are a joy to watch.
Leslie inspired me immensely. She was such a free spirit, true to herself no matter what. Plus, I loved the way she dressed.
Aside for the story, the music in this movie was amazing. Jeremy Camp’s voice made an appearance which I was happy about. He is also on the Narnia soundtrack. Aaron Zigman did a great job with the instrumentals. The music enhanced the magical feel and it also deepened the sadness. Perhaps that is just because music is entirely emotional for me anyway.
So. Braeden tells me he liked the movie. There were times when he was sad and he leaned against me in the seat. But there were also times when he laughed out loud and even put his arms up in excitement when Jess was protecting Leslie from the possessed squirrel creatures. I don’t think he understood all of the plot, but I do think he enjoyed the movie. And it’s always fun for me to see his reactions to everything.
The only downfall to the outing was that while waiting in line to get pretzels and fruit punch, someone moved our coats and took the seats we saved. So by the time we got back in the theater since it took 30 minutes to get pretzels…we ended up having to sit in the front row. Brae was fine with it and though I would have preferred to sit farther away it really didn’t matter when I saw how entranced he was with the big screen. =o)
Sometimes you come across things that make so much sense you just can’t believe you hadn’t thought of it before. Why couldn’t you have put it into words this way? Or you find the information so useful that you immediately need to blog about it.
Clearly, I just had one of those moments.
I came across this little column, a thought of the day, which discusses the “Triple Filter.”
“In ancient Greece, scholar and intellectual, Dr. Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, Do you know what I just heard about one of your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Dr. Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.:
“Triple filter?” asked the man. “That’s right,” Dr. Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and wanted to tell it to you” “All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary, it is bad “
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though. Because there’s one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.” Replied the man.
“Well,” concluded Dr. Socrates. “If what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, and nor even useful to me, why tell it to me at all.”
You can find this daily thought and others at Sisterwoman.com. It doesn’t say who authored that post, but I thank them immensely.
Tuesday night through yesterday evening we had an ice storm. I believe we got about 2 inches of ice. I took some pictures and was going to send them to delawareonline.com for their storm galleries, but my internet went down yesterday morning and is still not back up. Nor is our power, period.
When I left for work this morning there still was not any power. Braeden and I slept together last night because the electric was out and he was nervous about the dark. We were under 6 blankets and I still felt frozen by the morning. His little furnace of a body remained toasty.
Valentine’s Day is such a load of horse crap. Haha. But I have to say that yesterday was probably the best Valentine’s Day I have ever had. Due to the ice storm I was able to stay with my Valentine all day long. Braeden even sang me the “little love bug” song that he learned at day care. So sweet.
I hope everyone was safe and warm yesterday. Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!